Monday, April 17, 2006

Vise

Today is a special guest poem by a guy I know:

help

help me my balls are
caught in
a vise

oh

ow ow owie ow ow

please

somebo
dy

help
me

free my balls

o lord

why hast
thou
forsaken

me

?

27 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this poem to be so spiritual, I can't STAND it. The allegorical connotations to our Lord JESUS CHRIST are so thick and syrupy that I could just pour this blog all over my pancakes and eat it with RELISH.

I hope I've made myself clear.

April 17, 2006  
Anonymous Guy with His Balls in a Vise said...

ouch

oh man oh ow

if you were really

owie ow

really my friend, you'd

ooh

you'd get my balls

my poor, aching balls

owch

you'd get my balls out of this vise

don't just stand there

oh god

help

me

help

ow.

April 17, 2006  
Anonymous William Wallace from "Braveheart" said...

"Free my balls" was EXACTLY what I was thinking about when I said "FREEDOM."

Ball-freedom is the greatest freedom of all.

Or, as my good friend and fuckbuddy Jordan would say, "Dod-a-chum? Did-a-chick? Yes-I-Did?"

April 17, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think relating O.L.A.S.J.H.C. to some guy who managed to put his balls in a vise is BEREFT of spirituality.

BE-REFT.

April 17, 2006  
Anonymous "Willy" Wallace said...

I forgot to add that my balls are in heaven now.

Thank you.

:)

April 17, 2006  
Anonymous Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ said...

Actually, the Romans squeezed my nuts in a vise. That's how I died, you know.

The whole crucifixion thing was bullshit.

My balls hurt so much that I could just let out loud, syrupy squeals of pain that you just want to pour on your waffles and eat with RELISH.

April 17, 2006  
Anonymous Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ said...

Oh, I also have a special message for you:

:)

April 17, 2006  
Anonymous John Wayne said...

The next person who smiles 'round here gets a boot up the poop-chute, comprende?

April 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude. That's like... deep.

April 20, 2006  
Blogger Eugene said...

BALLS deep, bra'.

April 21, 2006  
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May 18, 2006  
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