Monday, January 23, 2006

My Emotional Intelligence Demands Its Release

This is based on an experience of mine that I wished to share. My emotional intelligence demands its release, like the buttery white wine that is occasionally allowed to escape the head of my penis in little spurts and is then wiped away onto the sleeve of a really comfortable sweater. Although the title may be a bit subtle for some, I call this poem, "Shaving My Hairy Beanbag."

Shaving My Hairy Beanbag

The sink fills
with hot water
and steam rises as I lather my
heavy,
hairy
scrote

with some Gillette Foamy
shaving cream.

I take the
disposable
razor and stroke the blades

along my mostly-clean
taint,
following the contours
of
my nutsack
and ending
at the base of my

ding-dong.

Rinsing the razor
off in the sink,
I
begin the process again,
lifting up my balls
(in flight)
so I can better shave
the wrinkly
skin.

As the razor slices
through
the hair,

I

hear
a loud knock
on the door that
causes me to simultaneously

drop

the razor into the pants
puddled around my ankles

and scream,

"Jesus fucking Christ,
what the fuck do you want!
I'm shaving my nutsack, here!"

Towelrack.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's... it's beautiful.

My favorite line is about your pants "puddled" around your ankles.

Sheer poetry.

You fucked up goof ball. Tell us more about Lake Vajisnatch.

January 24, 2006  
Blogger Eugene said...

I take exception to being called "fucked up." You're not appreciating my EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

January 24, 2006  
Blogger Eugene said...

I hope that you noticed that I altered my profile to better reflect my proclivities and personality.

January 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your use of the term "ding-dong" really speaks to me. It's so...poetic.

January 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's a towelrack. I get it, freak-case.

What about Lake Vajisnatch?

January 24, 2006  
Blogger Eugene said...

There's more to my new profile than just a picture of my most favorite thing, you know.

I'll write about what I WANT to write about. Poetry isn't something you can do just by request. It has to spring from the dark, dense, hairy depths of my EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

January 24, 2006  
Blogger In verse said...

hahahahhaha...kind of funny

January 25, 2006  

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