Monday, December 26, 2005


This is a poem about my dog, Eugene, and how he showed me the true meaning of the Holidays. Enjoy.


It was Christmas Eve night and
Eugene whined;
I knew what he wanted.

I gathered the leash
from a hook by the door;
I attached the leash to Eugene
and into the chilly Christmas Eve night
we marched.

Neighbors also marched
on their way to Mass
and other

In our neighborhood,
on the street-side of the side-walks,
by the church,

little white candles
rest lit
in white paper bags.


It is quite a sight, still.

I said hi to neighbors
my breath formed clouds
as Eugene marched me
toward the church.

Once at the church
who had bypassed a fire hydrant
and numerous trees
proceeded to engulf one of the bags
with a fury of liquid dog relief.

Like breath in the chilly air,
steam rose from the stream;
Eugene lasted about 20 seconds.

Neighbors stopped to see
Eugene's golden stream
the candle-bag.

The candle extinguished,
Eugene shook his furry hind leg
and got

"How could you let this happen?"
Asked Mrs. Perry,
who was always close to the Pastor's wife.

I looked down at Eugene
(did he smile?)
And saw nothing but

"This," I reported,
"is the true meaning of the Holidays."

Immediately after my proclamation,
I did not see
who threw
the rock
that struck
my forehead.

Nor do I know
How I got home
that chilly
Christmas Eve night.

I am
for my


Anonymous Pastor J. Kelling said...

I threw the rock, you fuckhead! Why'd you let your dog piss on the luminary?

You can pick up your credit cards at the church, AFTER I'm done picking up a few things on Amazon.

Fuckhead. Next time, I won't let them drag your sorry ass home.

December 26, 2005  
Blogger In verse said...

Yes...brilliant very resisting....

Like breath in the chilly air,
steam rose from the stream;
Eugene lasted about 20 seconds

aha...very nice...

but you know what? I think the second part of the poem suffices to me, I dont think the first part gives me anything more after I have the second.

I may also go ahead and say, drop the first part. then it will be really slender.

December 27, 2005  
Blogger Eugene said...

Good idea! I'll try that!

December 27, 2005  
Blogger wahhhboohoo said...

WAAAHH!! WWWAHAAAHHH!! boo hoo hoo *sniff* WAAHHH!! boo hoo uhu uhuh huh DOG PISS hhhhh WAAAHH!! boo hoo! boo hoo hoo hoo boo WAAHHH hooo WAHHHH!!!!Boo hoo hoo *sniff* *sniff* boo *sniff* hoo *sniff sniff sniff*

December 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, the image of a dog pissing on a luminary will be an image I'll carry with me to my mausoleum. You're a true artist, Eugene (I mean the dog, not the person).

Let's hear about the towelrack.

December 27, 2005  
Blogger Phil O. Sophia said...

Yay freedom. hahahahha

Peace on earth. Good will towards dogs.

December 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, if the dog lasted 20 seconds, how long do you last with the dog, Eugene?

I'm talking to the person, not the dog, this time.

December 27, 2005  

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