Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Discovery

Discovery

At first,
I
thought,
the purchase
was made
for
the children.

All
I
saw was
the receipt:
no context,
no explanation,
just paper
and
ink.

It was only later,
much later,
that
I
realized...
who
it was for.

When folding
the socks,
and a really comfortable sweater,
I opened
the
wrong drawer...
and
out it rolled.

It was huge,
black,
bulbous,
knobby,
and glistening.

I did not touch it
with
my hands.

Tongs would suffice.

Under the
tree
it went,
below the ornaments,
garland,
lights,
and tinsel.

Next to
Tickle
Me
Elmo.

The receipt
for
"D" cells,
I threw
away.

When the children
and Aunt Francine,
and Grandma,
and Uncle Ned,
and all my cousins
were
gathered round,
I'd let
Aunty Frannie
pick it up
and ask,
"Whose dildo is this?"

(at least, I hoped).

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the ending is unrealistic.

December 26, 2005  
Blogger Eugene said...

Really? What do you think should have happened at the end?

December 26, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find it hard to believe that you would let a dildo be in plain sight of your family. It seems mean.

December 26, 2005  
Blogger Eugene said...

Some might call it mean, but I say, "Balls in Flight."

December 26, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did the dildo have "balls in flight" on it, or just balls?

And what's with the towelrack already?

December 26, 2005  
Blogger wahhhboohoo said...

WAAAHH!! WWWAHAAAHHH!! boo hoo hoo *sniff* WAAHHH!! boo hoo uhu uhuh huh hhhhh WAAAHH!! boo hoo! boo hoo hoo hoo boo WAAHHH hooo WAHHHH!!!!Boo hoo hoo *sniff* *sniff* boo DILDO *sniff* hoo *sniff sniff sniff* uh hah hahWAAAAHHHH!!! WAAAAHHH!!! WAAAHHH!!! boo hoo!!! WAAAHHH!!! BOO HOO!! *sniff sniff* WAAHHH!!

December 26, 2005  
Blogger In verse said...

didnt quite get the feel, seems you are trying too hard...but thats just me


sorry!

December 27, 2005  
Blogger Eugene said...

Sometimes I do try too hard. It's hard to get the feel just right.

December 27, 2005  
Anonymous Aunt Francine said...

Did someone leave a dildo lying around?

December 27, 2005  
Blogger Eugene said...

I'm going to have to start regulating comments, I guess.

*sigh*

December 27, 2005  
Blogger wahhhboohoo said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

December 27, 2005  
Blogger Eugene said...

Sorry, but a line must be drawn somewhere.

December 27, 2005  
Blogger Phil O. Sophia said...

AHAHAHAHH

Why does everyone else get the cool gifts?

December 27, 2005  
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